ideen für licht im bad
hello everybody, my name is markiplier and welcome to cheatin' hitman! oh, don't believe his lies. that's a reference. in a deep winter night, (voice deepens) spent entirely streaming dark souls, nick breckon, professional hitman for hire contemplates his existence. god. what have i been doing with my life? i wanted to become a creator, not a murderer. this is my life now. i am ruined. but then...
internalization:100% as he finally beats dark souls, a glimmer of hope crosses nick's face. or is it? maybe there's still some time to change... maybe i could become... a cheatin' hitman! i don't know what that means what's the matter with you? from: agency you've barely taken any jobs for weeks! get back to work or you will be terminated.
sincerely the agency! also happy holidays! (deep breath, bewildered) oh, okay! i don't know what am i doing? what am i doing?! objective: just shoot the target! drop the body in the lake! make sure he bleeds... in the morning! what?!? uhhhhh, i don't know, i don't know- (weird voice coming from inside bag, dialog unintelligible)
what the fucking?! what the hell? this may sound weird, but i'm a hitman and i'm trying to save your life. you? a hitman? pfft. sounds like you need to reread your job description. your lucky i'm not in the mood for killing. here is what we will do instead... i..... half an hour later? i am so confused! okay, so let me get this straight... you want me to help you stage my own death, so your client believes i'm actually dead
correct. to do that, first you need to create a believable setting. right, i'll set up the backdrops, some props, and the lighting. shouldn't i pose somewhere? don't worry about it, i'll tell you what to do. but what about makeup, and fake blood, and... please i'm not an amateur. it's all taken care of. and then, once everything's set up, you'll get a good angle, take a photo of my body and send it to your client? exactly, you okay with that?
actually.... yes???? well, i'm a bit of a model, not that its any of your business. so, yeah, sounds fantastic! what are we shooting with? good god... what? oh, oh! okay. drop the body by the lake! make sure he bleeds... shoot the target.
ohhhhh.... right in the middle of his goddamn face! ohhh shit. okay... we need...film blood? okay he's very bloody what the fuck...
lights...morning lights? ohhhhhhh... oh, and pose! (cracking sounds) oh jesus! oh, i'm sorry! i'm sorry, oh jeez, oh god, oh i'm sorry- sorry... you'll just have... okayyyy alright let's drop you down. well, that wasn't the...
ohhhh god... okay back- that's... that's good. uh.. oh jesus. ohhh i'm so sorry man- i mean i know i was originally supposed to kill you but... oh jeez... how do i... how do i make him fall down? oh boy.... i'm gonna move 'ya.
ahh.. in a ditch by the lake (laughs) oh my god. that's (stutters) that's hilarious move you right in the lake... nope. -by the lake. let me pose you again. (grunts) (character makes noise) alright right about.. right about there!
okay that's good. ok! he's by the... he's by the lake, oh man. alright, talk to him. so, tell me a little about yourself! hey, now that i got you covered in blood and full of bullet wounds tell me about yourself! you don't know? don't you care who you are supposed to kill? i prefer not to so you're a bit of a wuss is what you're saying. i'm starting to see why someone would want to kill you...
what was that? hmm nothing. i definitely heard something. well, good enough i guess.... okay, alright well hang on let me... uhh oh well this isn't a very believable backdrop, but you know i'm gonna i'm gonna just roll with it (camera sound) blam! okay, send the photo! you can't even see my face.
ohhhh.... need to see the face. need to see the freaking bullet wound. okay he just happens to be sitting up when he's do... oh my god hi! oh, hello! you doing your morning yoga? oh good. get those abductor muscles working, it's good for you. hi... (camera sound) okayyyy.....
any problems with this one, cause i don't have a problem send the photo. that doesn't look too bad for an amateur. so what do i do now? give advice, hey i'm not in the charity business here, i'm gonna give you advice if i were you i'd leave the country. what you gonna kill me? haha. nice done overall, here's some thoughts sweet kill just what i was looking for, the setting felt a little off, so much blood mmmmm! looks like morning! lovely!
you know what you're doing and we are loving it join the cheatin' assassins association today to receive feedback for your work and win big prizes and awards every week! ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ok yeah! i guess? alright, tom. objective: drown the target, do it in a forest, no props with less then two stars. (voice from bag) that is so . what? who... where am i? breathe! i'm here to help you you're at...
wait, i know you, yeah! you're that guy from the podcast! tha... what are you talking about? no! i'm not nick bro... has dark souls finally driven you insane? just do as i say, okay? so i gotta drown the target. how the fuck am i gonna drown the target? so i need to drown him huh ohhhh ohhhh i could have made it look more realistic ohhh ok, so how do i drown you
ohh i gotta make him blue gonna make him nice and blue this guy is so drowned this guy is so drowned... gotta make it look more realistic we can't just do this gotta get trees in here ♪la la look at all the trees♪ look at all the identical plastic trees you can barely see them through the foilage get a nice river running through here blap right there that's good, yeah yeah that's good ahhh i think nights good alright, you hey pose
(characters neck cracks) sorry, uhh how do i do this oh i get... i know how to do this (characters back cracks sharply) ahhh (laughs) you're an airplane mwaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh (laughs as he tortures the character) ah my spine (laughs) (laughing) oh god.....
ooohhhhhhh god whyyyy ok yep that then right..... (character moans in agony as mark tortures him further) there got it ok, nailed it okay good yeah that's good yeah just hold that pose midair that's good uhhh i'm going to be dead in a ball fuckkkk ohhhhh i get it oh hes stuck in the oh ok yeah ok you know what this is pretty good this is pretty good
ahh that's yeah you look you know to be honest that guy looks pretty damn dead i don't know why there's a tree in the middle of the river but i don't think they're gonna question it so send that off i was satisfied with your work here are some thoughts sweet kill just what i'm looking for everything about the setting felt right well i'm glad i could make anonymous feel content about the kill thanks for your submission overall we give your rating a 50 percent try to use a variety of props don't use the same prop too often i might be wrong but i'm pretty sure i saw the model i asked you to kill at the airport
whaaattttt.... whhaattt... no way what are you talking about? ok objective use poison drop the body in an alley in the middle of the night ah, screw it break his bones too. oh god it's a little bit vicious don't you think come on not again i told you to leave the country not my fault people want to kill me isn't it? let's just get this over with... i gotta use poison how the fuck do i use poison ohhh... i gotta make oh he's gonna be real sick
(more weird markimoo noises to the tune of jingle bells?) ok so i need a prop of some sort ohhh maybe mushrooms, no that wouldn't be right it's got to be in the middle of the night that's for damn sure nope that's wrong, gotta get a backdrop of an alleyway oh i gotta break your bones here buddy i'm sorry alright wait, no okay that's good there that's good excuse me while i break your bones oh jesus. that's about right right there crack snapple pop yep that's pretty good
so i gotta i need a dumpster need a sweet dumpster bro.... sweet dump alright that's good trashcan good nice ok let's try this shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaboski ok i mean it's kind of an alleyway isn't it a little bit right ahh that's good enough for me but that's definitely an improvement over the first one looks like i'm definitely getting the hang of this maybe we can do this again sometime leave now!
pff, yeah right! see you soon! thanks for your submission overall we give you a rating a zero don't use too few props try to use a variety what kind of hit man are you are you kidding me this photo is no prove alrighty then well they're suspicious that's not good thanks for playing and actually making it this far that's all the content we got ohhh! that was pretty cool i mean at first i was very confused at first i was really unbelievably confused i had no idea what was going on but as i got into it i was like huh i could actually see this being a thing it's it's it's like a little creative enjoyment thing i i don't know what it is you're not murdering people which is kind of fun i mean there's a lot to this
i mean it's obviously it's unpolished and there's not a lot of variety there's no music there's very little sound effects but from what you've got you could have quite an interesting game here i've never seen a game quite like this one so it's interesting to see these new and creative ideas so anyway that's all the time i got for this episode thank you everybody so much for watching if you want to try to do better than i did you can check out the game through the description below and send the developer some support, you know these new ideas needs a lot of encouragement to make sure that they come about and uh you know i wouldn't mind seeing more of this so thank you everybody so much for watching and as always i will see you in the next video bye-bye! (outro music plays)