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(electronic hum) (laughing) - hi, grampy! - there you are! i thought you weren't gonna makeit. - oh, no, have you been waiting? i told you i was running late. - oh, i didn't see any message. - oh, no, not on a phone.
i sent you a thought on thehivemind. let me just make sure it wentthrough. that's so odd. - i'm not on the hivemind. - what? why not? everyone's on the hivemind. - i like the internet. what's wrong with that?
- the hivemind is so muchbetter. you can instantly exchangethoughts and feelings or access the memoriesof anyone on the planet. it's totally bleef. - i don't like how people have their minds melded all thetime. whatever happened to good,old-fashioned conversation? two people, together,silently texting each other. - i guess things are differentnow.
- you're telling me. when i was your age,everything was simple. you wanted to meet up withsomebody, you sent them an evite. then you sent them an email tomake sure they got the evite. and then, a couple dayslater, you texted them, because they never answered. - is everything okay? - i'm just a little lonelysince your grandma died.
none of my old friends are answering any of their damntexts. - that's because nobody textsanymore. - oh. - grandpa, i know newtechnology can be scary, but if you get on the hivemind, you can use it to meet yourneighbors, or old friends from high school, or everyone in this park.
- [all] hi, appleby! - you'll never be alone again. - can i use it to meetmy college girlfriend? - of course, super easy! what brain tap do you use? alpha slug, or flurm, or? - i don't know. i had it implanted so long ago. it's the one that makes you
remember the smell of wetleaves. - cranial? that's a terrible brain tap. i'm gonna force sync you abetter one. - i'm sure that-- i'm sure the cranium is fine. - cranial. - but okay, whatever. just doublethink cranial.
- how the hell do youdoublethink? - you just think about thesmell of wet leaves twice. - what do you mean, think twice? how do you think about somethingtwice? - you just think about it, and then you think about itagain. like this. - wait. what's happening?
i can hear the sound of2000 teeth chattering. and i feel the sensation ofground beef between my fingers. - yeah, yeah, yeah, just ignorethat. - what's happening? - that's cranial. it comes built in with thesesense prompts that supposedly ease youinto the whole experience, but it kinda just clutterseverything up. are you sure you don't wantme to force sync you flurm?
- yes, yes, i'm sure. - okay, well, afterthese feelings subside, you should be launched into thehivemind. (screaming) - [appleby] see? look at all these great thoughts everyone else in the world isthinking. - [grampy] make it stop! - [appleby] try to focus on me.
focus on my voice. - what the hell is this? why are there so many of us? - i'm thinking of you,and you're thinking of me, but we're also syncingeach other's thoughts, so you're thinking of methinking of you and i'm thinking of youthinking of me thinking of you, and so on. does that make sense?
- no. i hate this. i don't want to do this anymore. - you're doing great. i thought you wanted to tryand find your old girlfriend. - rebecca heath. - great, just doublethink her. - rebecca, is that really you? - hello, travis.
i see you're finally in thehivemind. - this is incredible. it's been so long. how are you, what have you beenup to? god, there's so much to say. - there sure is. here. well, it was nice catching up. - wh-- what?
- think of me again sometime. - that's it? - aw, that's so sweet. - no, it was nothing. - you both shared every detail about yourlife with each other. - what happened to realfriendship? people you saw everyday, on facebook,
when you scrolled past them. - i'm sorry, grandpa. i know how you feel. - no, you don't. you're too young to know how ifeel. - no, i mean i literallyknow how you feel. i'm tapped into all yourthoughts. remember? we all are.
- but why? whatever happened to privacy? in my day, we only shared thingswe liked, and things we hated, and our meals, and our current mood, job, andlocation, and pictures of our genitals, and pictures of nakedcelebrities that we hacked from theirphones,
but not everything! i want to get out of this thing. how do i get out of this thing? - you don't. that's the whole point. we're all connected,and you're never alone. it's too much, it's way toomuch. - sure, yeah, there are some badparts, but look at what the hivemindcan do.
it's brought humanity together. war is over. with a single thought, you can feel the wind on yourface from the other side of theworld, or feel the combined powerof all the love in the world, or truly understand a singleperson with 100% empathy. - yes! yes!
wow! - and there's so much you cangive. your wisdom, the loveyou felt for grandma, your bank account info, thefeeling of holding your granddaughterfor the first time. - wait, wait. what was that last thing yousaid? - grampy, who you talking to? - welcome to the hivemind,sucker!
- shit! you didn't think aboutany sensitive information around her, did you? - what the hell is happening? - that wasn't me! that was someone who just used my thoughts,feelings, and experiences to pretend to be me. it's a brain phishing scam.
- how am i supposed to knowthat? - couldn't you tell that thatwasn't me? - no, it... looked exactly like you. i don't even know when real youleft. - really, grandpa? i think it's pretty obvious. - this is just as horribleas i thought it would be! just log me out.
- nobody says, "log out"anymore. - i don't care! i don't care what people dotoday. i don't need them. just, how do i get out of thisthing? - just unthink the smell of wetleaves. - what do you mean, unthink? look, nevermind. nevermind.
i'll figure it out. (panting) sorry i snapped at you. - that's okay. i could think that youwere going through a lot. and all your money was stolen. - i didn't need this hivemindbefore, and i don't need it now. - oh, okay.
see you next week, grampy. sorry. (piano music) - [voiceover] hello. thank you for installing alphaslug. to tap into the hivemind, just doublethink thefeeling of deep shame. if you are having troubleconnecting to the hivemind, try sleeping for 15 seconds.
if this does not resolve theissue, ensure your thought probeis properly installed by removing and reinsertingit into your skull. this may require light surgicalknowledge. please use caution when usinghivemind to view pornography, as you will experience thesensation of thousands of simultaneousorgasms. do not think too hard aboutthe logic of the hivemind. do not think about the hivemindwhile within the hivemind.
have fun.